Another Day In April
by NightRanger85
Summary: Someone's been taking their April Fools jokes WAAAAY too siriusly!
1. Chapter 1

**Another Day in April**

A NightRanger85 Production

Author's Note: Hey, y'all! It's been a while, I know. Writers block sucks big time. Anywho, it's pretty interesting as to what one may think of in the shower (it's 1:00AM). Before anyone asks, this is a one-shot. I doubt that I will have anything resembling inspiration should I try for a sequel.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. So no sue, yes?

There was no real concept of a fixed calendar in Seireitei, regardless of the seasons. Despite this, _everyone_ seemed to know when April 1st came around. Usually nothing got too out of hand.

That changed about a week after the newest batch of recruits that year.

oOoOoOoOoOo 

"What the hell?"

It was inevitably the captain of the 11th Division to first discover something amiss. After all, he was considered to be the most openly obnoxious of the Gotei 13 (although Mayuri wasn't far behind).

Unfortunately, he discovered the self-hardening bubble-bath solution the hard way.

And he had a good idea who to blame.

"MAYURI!!!!!"

oOoOoOoOoOo

Kurotsuchi Mayuri was _not_ having a good day.

First, the 4th Division had needed some extra supplies. Hmph! Like they couldn't put the request in with all the other stuff they needed (how wasteful!)

Next, and more importantly, Zaraki-Taicho had practically strung him up by his balls, demanding bloody vengeance for the white fluffy…_stuff_…that was now covering his hair.

Then he had noticed that Zaraki had stopped his thundering tirade. And was looking at his right hand. Why the _hell_ was he holding a rubber chicken for a pen?

And _why_ did it then explode in a blast of black ink?

oOoOoOoOoOo

"Nanao-chan?"

She sighed before facing her captain.

"Yes, Shunsui-taicho?"

"Is this yours?" For once, the man was honestly confused, holding the pen in his hand. "One of the new guys gave this to me a few days ago. Said he found it on the floor."

Nanao examined the pen, eyebrow raised. Then she swatted the man with her fan.

"Ow! What was that for, Nanao-chan?"

"I don't use pens that look like _this_! Besides, I think this looks like-"

"SHUNSUI!"

Nanao _glared _at her captain.

"Mayuri never did have much of a sense of humo-Ow!"

oOoOoOoOoOo 

Of course, it didn't end there.

"Matsumoto!"

Blinking herself awake, Matsumoto Rangiku stretched, rising off the couch to mollify her pint-sized superior. Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw.

Scowling up at her, Hitsugaya Toshiro stood in front of his desk, arms crossed over his chest. And…were those _bells_ in his hair? Those little-what did those two call them again-_sleigh bells_?

"Awww, is Shiro-chan getting ready for Christmas so soon?"

"_Matsumoto!_"

Thos bells looked _awfully_ familiar for some reason. Oh, well. Wasn't her problem.

"Does Shiro-chan want a candy-cane? I have watermelon flavor."

"MATSUMOTO!!!!"

As Rangiku dug around in her desk for candy canes, it never occurred to her that someone had swiped her…_special_ reading materials for graveyard shifts.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Unfortunately for him, one Kukichi Byakuya certainly didn't recognize the package in that owl's talons for what it was…

oOoOoOoOoOo

"I've got to hand it to you lad; you're right handy 'round this place." Light hazel eyes sparkled with laughter as the young Shinigami blushed under the praise before he added a chuckle of his own. "Did you see Kukichi-taicho's face? I didn't think he could _get_ that red."

Eager footsteps echoed in the tunnels beneath the Seireitei as the two walked towards the predetermined meeting place. Right on cue, they met the third member of their little clique. The Shinigami called Hanataro spotted him first as he bounded down the tunnel, snickering furiously.

"Padufuutu-san! You were successful?"

"More than, kid! Ha ha ha! We're BACK!" he crowed.

Unruly hair dancing with giddiness, the first man asked "D'you have them?"

The other man worked to suppress the instinct to burst out laughing. "_Have_ them? That Mayuri idiot didn't even look up!" He snickered some more, shoulder length locks bouncing. "He thought they were just another round of 4th Division equipment requests!"

Reaching into his sleeve, he pulled out a pair of wooden shafts a little under a foot in length.

Hazel lit up behind gold rims. He grabbed mahogany eagerly. "You got your map, Hanataro?" The boy nodded, a grin on his face.

"Alright. Hold out the map. On the count of three?" Nods all around. The man smiled as he and the other man held the shafts of wood to the parchment "Right. One. Two. Three."

**"We solemnly swear we are up to no good."**


	2. Seeing Redheads

Disclaimer: See Ch1

**Ch2: Seeing Red(Heads)…**

"Heeeyy, Hime-chan!" Matsumoto waived to the redheaded Shinigami as she walked by.

Oddly enough, the girl didn't respond. So she went up to the girl.

"Hey Hime-chan, what's—" "I'm sorry? Who are you looking for?"

The two women looked at each other for several moments before Matsumoto recovered her composure.

"Oh, you're the new girl," said the busty fukutaicho. "I thought you were someone else. I'm Rangiku, of the 10th Division. So _you're_ Unohana-Taicho's new squad leader."

The new girl nodded. "Yes, I was just chosen. I'm a bit unsure why, though. Something about previous experience." The woman stopped walking, biting her thumb. "Anyways, I'm a bit lost. Do you know how I can find 4th Division Headquarters?"

"Sure kid. I think you're going to have a fun time, here."

* * *

The two women had been winding their way through Sereitei. Matsumoto had waved to some of her friends and they had an encounter with Matsumoto's superior. Her _very_ irritable superior, seeing as someone had dyed Hitsugaya's body a deep icy blue.

The redhead looked a little suspicious of the surprise coloring, but hadn't said anything.

They were just walking up to the 4th Division when Matsumoto made a strange comment.

"I just noticed, but I love your eyes."

"I beg your pardon?"

Matsumoto gave the woman an inquisitive smile. "Your eyes, they're such a brilliant green. Where'd you find the contacts for that?"

"Oh no, they aren't contacts." A sad smile appeared on her face. "My husband loved them. My son has them, now."

"Hey, hey, no sad and weepy here," said Matsumoto, putting a hand over the girl's shoulder. "Oh, I don't think I got your name." The woman smiled at her. "I'm Lily…"

* * *

"Ah, I was wondering, where you were." Unohana smiled at her new squad leader. 

"I got a bit lost on the way here," said Lily, coloring. "Sorry, Mrs. Unohana."

The older woman laughed. "You can call me Unohana, if you'd like. I don't mind. Now, lets get you settled."

"You know, you remind me of one of my teachers," said Lily. "Oh?" "She was a bit more strict than you, but she always looked out for her students." Lily sighed, remembering the good times.

"Your teacher sounds like an interesting person."

"Yeah, she was a real disciplinarian with my friends." She fought a snicker. "I think that they set the record for most detentions given before the winter Hols in our fourth year."

Unohana raised an eyebrow. "Oh; no, they weren't _bad_ per se. They were just mischievous." "Well then you should get along just fine with your new squad mates."

* * *

The room she had entered looked like a madhouse. 

Cauldrons were bubbling, bottles brewing, and all sorts of lights and sounds were going off. _This _was the 4th Division Special Squad?

"No, no _don't_ add the pickled newt tongue to the-!"

An explosion rocked the room, sending bottles and bookshelves toppling.

Just _why_ did this feel so familiar? The last time there were this many explosions was when-

And there's that infamous bird's nest at 12 o'clock.

"Bloody hell, Padfoot! What was that?"

With 'Mr. Puppy Face' right next to him.

"I have no idea. Maybe it was the…"

Alright; enough was enough. **"JAMES AUGUSTUS POTTER!"**

The two men bent over a smoking cauldron looked up, cringing. "Prongs, that who I think it is?"

The man known as James 'Prongs' Potter removed his glasses. Wiped them with a rag. Put them back on and looked at the green-eyed redhead.

"Yep."

* * *

"…bugger."

AN: Well, whaddya know? I _did_ get some inspiration after all. I might try having Remus show up at some point. Or maybe drop this bunch of lunatics in Karakura…


	3. A Day In The Life

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters/places/concepts

I just own the plot. (please don't sue me)

**Ch3: A Day In The Life...**

(of a Marauder)

"A moment of your time, Unohana-taichō."

The captain of the 4th Division of the Court Guards turned to see what looked like a short, shuffling stack of white fluffy down. "Hitsugaya-taichō? What happened to you?"

An audible sigh; the child prodigy was probably only keeping his temper in check only through a monumental application of willpower. "Your...newest squad."

Yes, the three most recent additions to the 4th's rolls. Black and the Potters were gaining quite the reputation, considering that they rarely used their zapakutos at all; instead, they usually used either various medical supplies and 12th Division chemicals or the odd wooden sticks that they carried around constantly.

Thinking back, she remembered when the trio had first encountered the 11th Division...

OoOoOoOoO

"Boo."

The little girl was set to giggles. "You're funny Flower Lady." Lily smiled. Despite the fearful reputation of her Division, little Yachiru was a sweetie in her opinion.

That the little Lieutenant was all but squeezing the life out of the black plush puppy in her arms was icing on the cake; Prongs and Padfoot might be the crazy half of the infamous Hogwarts Marauders, but she'd thought they would know better than to prank her. At least to prank her and think that they could get away with it. She idly wondered how Plushie Prongs was doing.

She was tempted to give some of Sirius' prank candies to her, but then she remembered 3rd Seat Ikkaku tell her that "Yachiru candytotal madness". She may be just a bit crazy, but she wasn't suicidal; she didn't even want to _think_ about adding magic into the already-dangerous equation.

OoOoOoOoO

Privately, Unohana relished the fact that now there were people that the 11th Division feared even more than her. It was about time _some_one saw the 4th Division as more than walking practice dummies.

"Unohana-taichō?"

Oh yes. Hitsugaya's...little problem.

That was the only thing that irked her about her three newest Shinigami; she had little idea how to reverse, undo, or otherwise neutralize the effects of their 'spells'. While all Shinigami had spell training, what James, Lily, and Sirius were doing was far different than most of the spells that she knew. Turning to the pint-sized Cousin It cosplayer, it took some effort not break out into a big grin.

"I'll have to contact Potter to see of she can reverse your...ailment, Hitsugaya-taichō."

At that moment, Kotetsu Isane came in with the oddest look on her face. "Unohana-taichō? K-Kurotsuchi-taichō wants to speak with you."

"Tell Kurotsuchi-taichō I'll be with him in a moment," said Unohana. What could have possibly happened to Kurotsuchi that he would seek _her_ aid? And why did Isane look like she could collapse in a fit of laughter any moment?

Standing before her, Kurotsuchi looked absolutely fine. It took him attempting to speak to find out what was...wrong.

"Kurotsuchi-taichō, how can I help you?"

He opened his mouth to reply and a rather rude noise was the result, along with an ungodly stench. With a grimace, the captain of the 12th Division rolled his eyes and bent over.

"As you can see, Unohana-taicho," came a somewhat muffled voice. "I seem to have misplaced my rectum..."

A/N: I'm sorry that it took so long to update (writer's block GAAAHHHH!!!) I know there's no Remus or Karakura Town hijinx in this chapter, but this was the idea that came to me.

Anyways, R&R please!


	4. Cleanup, Messhall 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or HP. Sue me, and I sic the Twins on you!

**Ch3: Cleanup, Messhall 3…**

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Kotetsu Isane was not having a good day at all. Yet another food fight between the 11th and 12th Divisions had degenerated into an all-out brawl that had spread to the entire district. Even the Shadow Division had gotten in on the act! Needless to say, the 4th Division was going to be very busy over the next few days.

With so many of the 11th's members still standing, or at least conscious, what was left of the battleground was a _definite_ hazard to any hapless 4th Division Shinigami that stayed any longer than was absolutely necessary.

_So_ _why is Hanataro anywhere here of all places?!_

The younger, normally timid Shinigami was zipping about from place to place, refilling the drink racks, resetting tables and tatami in the 3rd Mess Hall, and simply going about his business. Nothing was out of the ordinary for the young man. So why did things feel off?

"Enjoying your birdwatching, Kotetsu?"

Poor Isane nearly jumped out of her skin before she recognized the dark-haired rogue. Edgy, twitchy, and altogether too _energetic_ to sit still for any length of time, Sirius Black seemed to delight in nearly giving random Shinigami nervous fits. Or even _more_ random pranks, but that's beside the point...right?

Sirius gave her a slick grin, recognizing the look on her face. "Don't worry about me, girl," he said with a wink. Then his grin widened. "You really want to see something, ask Chirps over there."

Isane's eyebrows shot up in astonishment. _'Hanataro? Timid little Hanataro...a prankster?'_ Truly, it was difficult for Isane to imagine Hanataro playing the pranking game along with the Marauders' best, not to mention concentrating on the 11th Division. _'Then again, it's not like they don't give him a good reason...wait a moment!'_ "Chirps?"

Sirius chuckled. "You didn't think we'd make him a Marauder without giving him a name, did you?"

Isane suddenly felt a surge of reiatsu; a familiar feeling reiatsu. "Sorry to cut and run, luv," said Sirius who had gotten up. "It appears that I'll have to disappear for a bit, if you catch my drift." Winking at her, Sirius suddenly wasn't there; in his place stood a large, ragged black dog who then scampered off.

"WHO THE HELL DOES THAT _KONOYARO_ THINK HE IS!! I'M GONNA GUT THAT BASTARD!!"

"A-Abarai-fukutaichō?" Standing in front of her was a panting, utterly furious Abarai Renji. As imposing a sight the enraged Renji was, the frizzy pink afro and yellow-and-purple polka-dot _gi_ completely ruined it. "Ano...what happened to you?" Renji snorted. "What do you think? Those damn Special Squad people did this," said Renji in a disgusted tone. "Damn it, if Rukia saw me like this, I'd never live it down."

"Kotetsu-fukutaichō, Abarai-fukutaichō, I didn't realize you were here." True to his nature, Hanataro had left the entire 3rd Mess Hall spotless. Considering that the hall had looked like World War III, it was a job well done for only having been done in six hours. He'd even left out little bowls of candies on the tables. "Ano..." "_Don't_ ask." Shrugging, Hanataro picked up his bucket of now-filthy water and headed towards the door.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Hanataro-kun?"

Hanataro never really considered himself to be exceptionally calm or courageous; even with his new friends' help, he was still a quiet introvert. Add one Kotetsu Isane to the situation and the poor 3rd Seat was torn between going as pale as Hitsugaya-taichō's _Hyorinmaru_ and blushing like a radish. "Yes, Kotetsu-fukutaichō?"

"Are you alright, Hanataro-kun?" she asked. "Y-yes, I'm alright, Kotetsu-fukutaichō."

_'Keep things going, baka!_

Apparently, she'd read the question on his face. "Unohana-taichō said for me to take a break and I had heard you were assigned to the cleanup." Not that he enjoyed to being with a hundred meters of the 11th's people in the first place, but Lily-san had suggested it. Then Sirius-san had given him a large bag of what looked like jawbreakers and wads of chewing gum. Finally, James-san had given him a wand that he and Lily-san had made; had said it should be particularly good for charms and transfigurations. That and Kurotsutchi-taichō had been furious at the unusual supply requisitions. All in all it was the perfect opportunity…

"At any rate, I suppose I'm on break for now, so you can call me Isane."

It just struck Hanataro that Isane was rarely this talkative; he'd noticed that she'd rather be doing _something_, _anything_ to keep her mind busy.

Not that he wasn't sympathetic; he hated being idle as well.

"A-alright, Isane-san. Anyways, this is close to where I normally work anyways, and the 1st and 2nd Squads are taking care of the…combatants…"

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Heedless of the monster shiner on his face and the poultice covering his head like a turban, Madarame Ikkaku sat down at the newly refurbished table in the 3rd Mess. Yumichika, the pansy bastard, had chickened out on him, thus the shiner.

Grumbling to himself, the bald Shinigami noticed the small bowl in the middle of the table. "Eh? What's with the candies?"

Seeing no-one with anything resembling an answer, Ikkaku shrugged. "Well, fukutaichō says that a little sugar helps reaction time." Picking up one of the yellow round ones, he popped it in his mouth.

A flash of…something…later, Ikkaku was up and reaching for his sword.

Unfortunately, his sword was now bigger than he was.

"OI! Who's the wise guy! I'm gonna kick your ass whoever you are! YOU HEAR ME!!"

"Errmm…Ikkaku? You're a bird."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Chirping mightily, the little canary that was Madarame Ikkaku stomped as angrily as it could while Yumichika watched it with amusement. Really, it was about time _someone else_ was the fall guy fro some of the weirdness that happened around the 11th. It was bad enough that he had to wear a wig! He picked up one of the gum-like candies. Oh well, all's well that ends well…

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Hanataro-kun, what's that noise?"

Hearing the squealing and general insanity coming from the 3rd Mess, Hanataro took out a package. "Sirius-san told me to use this when things started happening."

Isane was confused. A Roman candle? "A firework?"

"Not just _any_ firework, Isane-san." Grinning in a way that Isane had seen on the face of that ryoka boy Ichigo, Hanataro lit the fuse.

Taking off in a rush of smoke and fire, the rocket burst over the roof of the 3rd Mess:

"CANARY CREAMS AND TON-TONGUE TOFFEES SOULWORKS SPECIAL! BROUGHT ESPECIALLY TO YOU BY WEASLEY'S WIZARDING WHEEZES!"

"Mischief managed."

**Owari**

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Author's Notes: Yes I know, _still_ no Karakura Town, _still_ no Remus. Ideas are hard to come by with that bunch. Anyways, the Marauders are doing what they do best, and they already have a new recruit into their ranks! Quite therapeutic for Hanataro-san, ne?

Anyways, now its time for an…

**Omake!!**

"Sirius Orion Black! How could you!"

"Easy, Lils. Prongs, control your wife!"

"What do you mean _control_ my wife, Padfoot? _She_ is the one with the leash."

Lily crossed her arms, looking smug. "And don't you forget it."

Impending crisis averted, James lit up into a grin. "I still don't get how you convinced him to actually do it."

"What do you mean, Prongs? That Urahara bloke is _always_ looking for way to make life more interesting around here, and I'd just heard that the Weasley Twins had opened a shop in Kyoto…"


	5. Marauding Plotlings

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, Harry Potter, or War of the Worlds.

**Ch4: Marauding Plotlings**

"What the hell?"

Kurosaki Ichigo, Deputy Shinigami, had to fight the urge to squint at the three newcomers from his seat by the classroom window; their black gis identified them as Shinigami, so the other students wouldn't see them.

As far as he knew, neither he nor the others had heard about any new Shinigami. Of course, when he asked Rukia about it, she simply gave him one of her smirks.

If that didn't set off alarm bells, nothing did.

So here he was, sitting on his ass and _firmly_ stomping on the urge to ask just what was going on.

Fortunately for his sanity, lunchbreak came relatively quickly (Rukia had to tell him off for forgetting to suppress his reishi in his agitation).

Unfortunately for him, upon opening the classroom door a red bucket full of...something...dumped all over him. And Ishida.

"Kurosaki-kun!"

Orihime! Maybe she wold help him get this damn pail off his...

There was Orihime, but on the other side of the classroom.

With his body.

Pulling the pail off _his_ head.

Finally, Ichigo looked down. And screamed.

000

"I _still_ can't believe you did that, Padfoot. Getting Urahara to meet with the Weasley Twins?" James Potter shook his head in mirth. "What was that stuff again? Freaky Friday Fluff?"

Sirius Black chuckled. "Well, ickle Harry _did_ give them his Triwizard Tournament prize money for a reason, right? I'm just broadening their horizons. Besides, that Ichigo kid needs to loosen up a little."

Shrugging, Sirius picked a pink-covered stick out of the box in his hand. "Mmm, this pocky stuff is great." He turned to the third member of their little expedition. "Try some, Lils."

Lily simply plucked the box of pocky out of his hand. "That's enough for you, Sirius Black. You know what happened the _last_ time you got high on sugar."

Never wanting to _ever_ be near Zaraki Kenpachi again, human or dog, Sirius merely cringed, shuddered, and nodded. Taffy and a hungry dog are a _baaaad_ mix.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Are you sure about this, Hanataro-kun?"

Looking at the foreboding looking castle in the distance, the timid 6th Seat nodded nervously. "Sirius-san said that this was the place."

Quite frankly, Hanataro thought that his gigai looked quite ridiculous in this outfit. Honestly, a dark grey robe, sweater, and striped tie? Hardly the garb with which to blend in, even with schoolchildren!

Of course, Isane looked quite nice in her robe...

"Why are you hitting yourself with the map, Hanataro-kun?"

Flushing bright red, it took several moments for Hanataro to formulate an answer. "Ah-nothing, nothing! The map says that the town should be just beyond the train station."

000

"Oy, Gred."

"Yeah, Forge?"

"D'you get the feeling we're being watched?"

Fred Weasley looked about. Saw no-one unusual, save an unfamiliar seventh-year and her third-year companion.

"Just the normal customers, Forge."

George simply shrugged. "Anyways, I wanted to talk to you about that odd bloke in the hat and sandals from a few weeks ago."

"The fellow with the Freaky Friday idea? Bloody brilliant; sold out in three hours! What if we..."

It was the first low 'THUD!' that caught their attention.

The second had them scrambling.

People had started screaming by the third.

Running outside the shop, the Weasley twins could only gape in stunned amazement.

"What the..."

"...bloody hell _is_ that?"

000

"I happen to think that _War of the Worlds_ was great."

Personally, Hanataro wasn't _quite_ so enthusiastic about the movie that Lily had gotten for them only a week earlier. Whenever he saw a tripod of any sort, he shuddered.

Looking back over his shoulder, he couldn't help smile and think that it wasn't nearly as scary when he was setting them on others. Absently, he wondered what Matsumoto- fukutaichō's reaction might be when she found out her Chappy was missing.

Letting out a blast like an ocean liner, the giant Tripod-gigai merrily stalked its way through Hogsmeade.

Hanataro looked at Isane, a lite smile on his face. She grinned in return.

"Mischief Managed."

**Owari**

* * *

Author's Notes: _Finally_, I was able to Ichigo and co. in this fic! And can you imagine Chappy as a Martian Tripod? Oy. As for the dogs and taffy thing? My Gramps once had this big black lab named Homer. None too bright, he one day ate a whole three or so feet of salt taffy. Was constantly drinking and pissing all over for the next three days! For you shippers out there, yes this is a Hana/Isane. Now I have to figure out how to fit Remus and maybe Prongs Jr. into this.

P.S.; this disregards books 6 and 7.


	6. In The Cookie Jar

Disclaimer: I don't own _Bleach_ or _Harry Potter_.

**Chapter 6.**

**...In The Cookie Jar**

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Oi, you awake, Shirō-chan?"

Groaning, Ukitake Juushirō did his best to give an affirmative under the circumstances.

Given that said circumstances included _confinement_ in total darkness with who-knows-how-many-other-people...

"Ohhh...my head."

"You know Paddy old boy, I could have _sworn_ that I told you from the start that this had been a bad idea."

Shunsui shifted in the confined space.

"James? And that would make you..."

"Oi! Don't _do_ that!" yelped an indignant Sirius Black.

"Sorry."

"Don't sound sorry at all, mate."

_'Really,'_ Ukitake thought as his fellow captives kept bickering, _'Potter-san sounds far to calm for the situation.'_ He raised a brow. _'Like I need to know _why_. Lily-san obviously keeps a tight leash on him.'_

"Oi Prongs, I didn't know you were _housebroken."_

"Oh come off it, Padfoot, I am _not_ housebroken!"

"_Children_," Ukitake could practically _hear_ his friend's dry grin, "while I'm sure you find the question of your masculinity fascinating, I think a more pressing question is just how exactly do we get out of here."

"I think a better question," countered Ukitake, "is _what _did we do to get in our little predicament?"

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"I swear, they had _that_ one coming!"

"By 'they', I presume to mean your husband and his friends?"

"Oh, Captain Hitsugaya, I didn't notice you. Yes, James and Sirius are taking some time out to think over their actions."

"I'll excuse your use of...English...for now, Potter. I shudder to think what they did _this_ time."

"Let's just say that's the last time I let James owl me my...anniversary present in the middle of a Women's Association meeting."

"Do I even want to know?"

"I think the entertainment for tonight's 'Women's Night Out' is taken care of. You could come if you'd like."

"As much as I'd like to see Black and Potter humiliate themselves by streaking out of a crate, I have administrative duties to complete."

"If you're sure."

"I thank you for the offer, Potter. Oh, have you seen Kyoraku-Taichō or Ukitake-Taichō anywhere? I'd like to speak with them."

"I believe that they're a bit tied up at the moment."

"Ano...that's a very evil look on your face, Potter."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

**A/N:** Seeing as Shunsui and Ukitake are very much the Seireitai equivalent to the Hogwarts Marauders, I highly doubt that they'd sit back and let Padfoot and Prongs have all the fun. If that means occasionally getting caught... ;


	7. BodySwitchers?

**Chapter 7: Invasion of the...Body **_**Switchers**_**?**

Disclaimer: I don't own Iron Man, Harry Potter, or Bleach.

* * *

He grumbled to himself in his nap, scratching at a persistent itch. Odd though; he didn't think Las Noches would be so..._warm_.

"Good morning, Mr. Stark. You have a guest."

Blue eyes shot open as the shirtless man sat up in the bed.

Massive windows looked out on a smooth expanse of blue stretching to the horizon, overlooking spectacular cliffs that he certainly _didn't_ remember seeing _anywhere_ in Hueco Mundo.

He scratched at short hair (_since when did he get a haircut?_) and spoke towards the origin of the voice. "Err...I'll be right there."

Sighing, he tried to sense his surroundings with his _pesquisa_...to no avail?

Frowning, he tried again and produced the same results.

Hm. As he thought back, he fainlty remembered Lilinette telling him about suspected intruders...

"Anthony Stark, you get down here _this instant_!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Wh-who the hell are you!?!"

"I'm your Fraccion, you _baka_! Now get up off your ass!!"

He was half in a panic. He remembered going to bed late after working on a late-night project and woke up to this oddly dressed girl who couldn't have been older than fourteen _fondling him_!

And why was is so _cold_?

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"You're insane, you know that, right?"

Brushing his knuckles on his clothes, Sirius Black merely smiled at redhead. "All in a day's work, Renji."

Renji shook his head. Only you two," he said, gesturing to a triumphant James Potter, "would sneak in to Las Noches to pull off something like this." He looked pointedly at the sand-colored cloaks the two pranksters wore. "Not only that, you steal those from Kuchiki-taichō."

"Borrowed," said Sirius. "Borrowed with every intent to return it." He grinned. "Eventually."

Renji slapped his face in exasperation. "You've been going to the living world again, haven't you?"


	8. April in February

**Ch8: April in February**

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

_**Marauding Valentines**_

_By J. Potter_

I don't believe this, I really don't!

It's a bloody trick of fate!

Will somebody sit me down to think!

Will someone set me straight!

Gerrof me Padfoot, the is serious;

can't you see I'm writing?

Yamada put me up to this

but any more an I'll be biting

my fingers off in the madness

of this my season's task!

It's a sodding St. Valli's poem,

you berk! Yes it's for Lily!

And stop calling it gruesome!!

_Contributed by S. Black_

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"I can't believe you'd _do_ this to me!!"

Staring up at his best friend on both sides of the Veil over said friend's hands around his throat, Sirius Black did his best to look incredulous.

"What!?! I didn't ack! do this!"

Pointing at the page of the _Seireitai Communication_, James got back in his friend's face. "It say you name _right here_!!! What am I _supposed_ to think!?!"

"But it wasn't me!"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"That was quite devious of you, Yamada-kun," said Isane as her and the 7th Seat watched the two friends bicker over the poem she'd found from their perch on a roof. The smaller Shinigami put an arm around her waist and leaned against her.

"Well, Lily-san _had_ said that she wanted Prongs-san to do something for White Day," said the normally shy Hanataro Yamada. He smirked. "Now Lily-san can't complain, now can she?"

Isane affectionately mussed the little Shinigami's hair. "You know they'll find out eventually, Yamada-kun," she said in a mock-scolding tone. Hanataro shrugged.

"They'll get over it. Want another chocolate?"

Isane took the offered candy as they snuggled together and watched the fireworks as wands were drawn. She giggled as James began to tap-dance uncontrollably while Sirius grew a candy-can afro. She looked at Hanataro before they said together:

"**Mischief Managed!"**


	9. Mother Knows Best

**Ch 9  
****Mother Knows Best...**

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1...'cause I'm too lazy to repeat this over and over and over and over and...I'll stop now.

* * *

"-and I'd would like to especially thank Yachiru for my Mother's Day present."

Giving the little girl a hug, Lily smiled at the lite applause from the other members of the SWA. Given she was dead, she didn't really have a lot to do with Mother's Day, despite Harry leaving a gift at the family plot every year; she wasn't Harry, but the little Lieutenant filled that gap quite nicely.

"Are you going to play another game Flower-lady?"

Smiling, Lily sent a discreet wink to Isane. As an official member of the Sereitai Marauders, the 4th Division Lieutenant had an active pranking career, often joining forces with Hanataro "Birdbrain" Yamada.

However, since her induction into the Shinigami Women's Association, Lily had made something of a name for herself as a prankster. Of course, the Marauders had been made well aware of this since James' attempt at an anniversary present; they'd had tread very lightly around her since then.

Now she had established a tradition of sorts at Yachiru's behest. Quite simply, it was to help her raise havoc around Seireitai.

You didn't think she made all those tunnels in the Kuchiki compound by herself, did you?

This tradition was something she enjoyed all the more, as the aptly named "Puff the Dragon" was was given a very thorough lesson in Pranking 101 by a seasoned pro.

So when Lily later asked Zaraki-Taichō to borrow his Lieutenant for a day, the berserker grinned and shrugged as his 3rd and 5th seats suddenly began to look for crates to hide under.

* * *

"Isane?"

"Yes, Hana-kun?"

"What is Lily-san and Kusajishi-Fukutaichō doing?"

"Oh, I'd say they're setting something up. I inducted her last month."

"Is _that_ why Ukitake-Taichō and Kyoraku-Taichō...?"

"Yep."

"And Kusajishi-Fukutaichō?"

"Lily, two weeks ago."

"..."

"..."

"This should be _good_."

* * *

Ichigo couldn't believe his eyes.

Maybe his father had hit him harder than he thought during his 'wake-up call' this morning. Or maybe it was that bag of cookies Inoue gave him yesterday.

Ishida's jaw was on the floor; Inoue's eyes were as big as he'd ever seen them; Chad's eyes actually cleared his bangs, clearly visible; poor Rukia looked positively mortified.

Either way, this could only be a fever-dream pf some sort, or a hallucination.

For why else would Kuchiki Byakuya, Captain of 6th Division, Noble, and tight-ass extraordinaire, be standing on the roof of his school, in a gigai, in torn jeans and a worn, open vest-

"I AM A GOLDEN GOD!!!"

-and looking like he was stoned out of his mind.

...And then he jumped into the pool.

* * *

Kisuke always liked a good prank.

It was all so simple really. Some WWW Dreaming Dust-sprayers, a "spare gigai", and a digital camera, and he was all set.

He'd have to thank Lily-san for the opportunity to flex his new contacts.

He'd also have to thank Padfoot-san for the afternoon's entertainment.

**Mischief Managed.**


	10. Gotta Lotta Issues

**Gotta Lotta Issues...**

Inspired by the release of Halo ODST in-game taunts. I own nuthin'.

*********

"You know, I've got to hand it to that odd Japanese bloke that he's ruddy brilliant at this."

"Why do you think-"

"-we consult with him?"

"So you two gave him those trick cigars you made up?"

"Of course Harry."

"What do you-"

"-take us for?"

"Well, that's all well and good, but did you _have_ to have them change into...women's toys?"

"Well they wouldn't be funny-

"-without it would they?"

*********

"Err, don't you think this has gone a bit far, Lily-san?"

Looking up from her new pair of omnioculars, Lily smiled at the timid lieutenant. "Don't worry about it, Isane. You should have seen it when we were still in school."

"Oh look, there they go!"

Little Hinamori Momo was pink in the face from suppressing her laughter as a trio of tiny figures raced back and forth across Seireitai.

"That was quite mean of you, Lily-san," said Matsumoto Rangiku with a smirk. "I like your style."

"Smoky suure looks mad," said Yachiru, reveling in the chaos. "He's funny."

"There's no _WORDS_ for you!! Come over here and take your spanking like a man!"

"What did we do to you!?"

"Keep running Padfoot!"

"I'm gonna teach you all about _BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA _when I get my hands on you!"

"PLEASE DON'T KILL US!!"

Lily smirked as Prongs, Padfoot and their "friend" disappeared around a corner. "I think Mr. Johnson will be making things quite interesting around here."

----

Prongs, Padfoot, meet Mr. Avery J. Johnson. ;)


End file.
